Making Sacrifices for Chronic Health Conditions

If you’re a person who gets to live without any health challenges, then you are one lucky duck. Please share all of your secrets because I am jealous and would love to learn from you. But if you’re like me, you’re usually dealing with or treating at least one issue. Whether physical or psychological or something else entirely, I think it’s extraordinarily rare not to deal with any health issue in your life. Human bodies are not made well, apparently. Well, depending on how you look at it, it’s incredible we even exist. But anyway… I will assume that most people on earth deal with health issues. And many people must learn how to manage chronic pain.

For some of us, though, our health issues are long-term and a tad more extensive than the common cold that lasts for a couple of weeks. Some of our illnesses are chronic, meaning they last longer than three months. Those of us with chronic health conditions know the drill: we have to make sacrifices to ensure we don’t worsen our illness. Mental illness sufferers are quite familiar with this. Likewise, those with physical conditions ranging from a mild disability or hindrance to terminal diseases can relate.

Being diagnosed with new illnesses or a worsened version of an existing condition has brought to my attention the irritating fact that making sacrifices is necessary. It was not an easy pill to swallow, knowing I had to give something up for the sake of my health condition. In my life, I’ve consistently had to make sacrifices for particular spells of debilitating anxiety and the condition of my spine. Before I express what I’ve learned so far on this particular subject, I must vent. It’s in the rulebook of life: if you suffer from a chronic illness and do not vent about it, you will explode. 

Scoliosis, Spinal Fusions, Degenerative Disc Disease, and Chronic Back Pain

Anxiety is one story. My back is another. I won’t bore you with both today. I’ll just pick one to whine about. When I was sixteen, my spine looked more like a snake than a spine, as it was bent at a sixty-five degree angle on top and a forty-five degree angle on bottom.

To correct all the curviness, I had a serious surgery called spinal fusion, where ten of my vertebrae were fused into one solid bone. My scoliosis was corrected, and I grew an inch and a half in six hours. Hooray!

Years later, I started having issues with the parts of my spine on either end of the fusion, most significantly my lumbar. My lower back started experiencing little episodes called flare-ups, where it would just decide it couldn’t do life anymore. My back essentially gives out during flare-ups, resulting in intense shooting pains, the inability to stand up straight, muscle tightness and spasms, deep aching pains, numbness, and some other stupid, annoying symptoms.

The doctors told me I have Degenerative Disc Disease in my lumbar spine, which, combined with my fusion, is causing all of my spine-related issues. DDD is osteoarthritis of the spine and is a condition where the discs between the vertebrae break down. Please note that everyone’s discs break down over time. With age, we deteriorate; DDD is common for older people. However, the doctors said the condition of the discs in my lumbar spine as a twenty-three-year-old was equivalent to what they would see in someone with this condition in their sixties. NOT GOOD, JESS.

It’s unknown what the future will look like for my back. Its condition might get terribly worse or it might stay the same for a long time. New technology might develop that reverses the degeneration. Or perhaps the best option for my future might be a second spinal fusion. I simply do not know what to realistically expect. But I do know I have to take measures that are in my control to keep it from worsening.

Making Sacrifices for Chronic Health Conditions

This is where the sacrifices come in. Before I rant on, let me pause. I am well aware of how lucky I am that I can still live a normal life. I am grateful every day for the ability to walk, feed myself, maintain a stable job, and a million other things. Gratitude is a best practice for combating negative emotions. And YET, I must still complain.

I used to be an avid runner. I competed in track for nine years and then ran half marathons and 5ks for a couple of years after my 400 and 800-meter run days ended. Think of your favorite hobby in the world. That was running for me! I’ve loved running since the sixth grade! But running has consequences for someone with DDD. Running is an impact sport, believe it or not. Not in the traditional sense, but the constant pounding of each and every step takes a toll on the discs between our vertebrae. And every extra stress I put on my discs nowadays can send it into a flare-up at any given moment. So, I’ve been told to stop running. No more. A real big bummer for me. I still haven’t quite peacefully accepted this one, but alas: a sacrifice I’ve had to make for the well-being of my spine.

I usually experience some obvious warning signs that my back is approaching a flare-up. They involve shooting pains and/or the gradual hunch of my lower back. I know now, after years of experimenting and researching and learning, that when my back starts to ache and lean to one side or when I start to feel those shooting pains through my lumbar and hips, I have to back off. I have to stop exercising and doing anything strenuous. I have to take those anti-inflammatories. I have to ensure I get plenty of rest (not the sitting on the couch kind of rest, but the lying flat on my back with a pillow tucked under my knees kind of rest) until the inflammation subsides enough to ease the symptoms.

When I notice the warning signs, I have to cancel plans with family and friends. Just last weekend I had to cancel visiting my sister. The ten-hour drive would not have been good, my friends. Yes, that means I’m experiencing some pains right now. Yes, I am lying flat on my back with a pillow tucked under my knees. *Sigh*

I’m sorry this blog post has been built with such sass and sarcasm, wow. It’s a technique I use to cope with things that upset me, so bear with me. Shooting pains DO upset me!!! I know that I will continue having to make sacrifices because Degenerative Disc Disease is incurable at this point in time. If my twenty-year-old spine looks like a sixty-year-old spine with a progressive disease, then what the hell is my forty-year-old spine going to look like? Can you feel my anxiety on this subject radiate through your device’s screen because DAMN! I am very worried about the future!

There are certain crazy things I am never allowed to do now that my spine is fused, like skydiving, bungee jumping, and competitive gymnastics. Funnily enough, I was a gymnast before surgery, dammit! Though it would be thrilling, I can live without skydiving. It’s the smaller things that upset me on the daily.

I have to say no to certain adventures right now. Hiking seven miles in the rocky mountains this summer at the peak point of the year where my back causes me the least amount of problems (seasonal changes strongly affect my spine) made me realize I cannot do much more than that without a flare-up. At the end of a recent seven-mile hike, my back was in so much pain I had to lie down the rest of the night. The stress from the impact of trudging up and down mountains is too great for my spine, which is really upsetting to me. I’ll just have to keep my hikes shorter, I guess. Unless one day I find a better solution as I learn how to manage chronic pain.

When my back is moderately bothering me, I can’t walk more than three miles, even on a flat surface, without some pain and inflammation. And when I’m experiencing a flare-up, it hurts badly just to walk from the bed to the bathroom. And you can count on my inability to tie my shoes on my own. It’s very upsetting for someone with my athletic background to realize that no matter how good of shape my lungs and legs are in, my back will not let me be as active as I once was.

Sacrifices. So, I don’t wear shoes with shoelaces when I’m flared up. So, I just lay in bed when walking is too painful. So, I say no to long hikes. So, I take the warning signs very seriously because I’ll make sacrifice after sacrifice if it means I can avoid a flare-up.

You know something funny? Some of the sacrifices I have to make to prevent DDD flare-ups are counterintuitive to the Generalized Anxiety Disorder I also suffer from. When my back is hurting, I can’t exercise. When I don’t exercise, my mental health suffers.

Finding balance amidst my chronic illnesses is challenging! However, with my newfound acceptance that my back condition is not getting better anytime soon, I am proactive at doing what I know will keep my back at its healthiest. It took a long time to accept making sacrifices, so long that I had to experience a whole year chock-full of flare-ups before realizing that I’d rather cut out certain activities I love than have to spend weeks not being able to walk without being hunched over in pain.

A positive mindset prevails when living with chronic conditions!

The best thing I’ve found that allows me to cope with the lifestyle changes I’ve had to make to accommodate my chronic condition is practicing gratitude. It’s been tricky because I can’t just snap my fingers and make myself feel a particular emotion. I spent over a year forming the new habit of feeling grateful for simple things.

Additionally, I’m still practicing forming the habit of replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. On the days I am filled with anger and hopelessness because I’m stuck in bed waiting for my back to heal, how can I find a space in my heart to be thankful? Simple reminders and thinking bigger picture help. What can a person do while stuck in bed? You know, I can do one of my favorite things ever: I can write!

I’ve read two books that have forever changed my perspective on chronic illnesses and how to cope with them. One is The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama. The other is Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom. I highly recommend both to anyone who suffers (a.k.a. every human alive). These books taught me how to change my perspective.

It is effortless to view having a chronic illness with pessimism. At first glance, I sure could not find anything positive about a diagnosis that causes hardship. But once I changed my perspective, I realized my first impression of chronic illnesses was inaccurate. I should not focus so hard on the fact that living with chronic conditions holds me back. I do not have to let it prevent me from enjoying my life. Instead, I can shift my focus and create new opportunities with the circumstance called Living With a Chronic Condition. Don’t forget that rainbows form after the rain! We can find good hiding in the bad.

Dealing with something as unforgiving as a chronic health condition makes you stronger. If you get used to getting dealt crap in the health department or if you become familiar with having to make sacrifices for your well-being early, you’re kind of ahead of the game in a way. Life is unforgiving and full of obstacles for everyone. Sooner or later, you’re going to feel some resistance. Suffering from a chronic illness has prepared me for war! My emotional range has been stretched and beaten up while making accommodations for my condition. I’ve been toughened for battle. Whatever the future has in store, no matter how painful or challenging, I know I can get through it because I am already familiar with pain.

I would love to hear others’ perspectives and advice on dealing with chronic health conditions. Let’s support each other!

Mental Health Blog Disclaimer

I am not a medical professional, therapist, or mental healthcare professional. The information provided on this website is for informational purposes only, comes from my own personal experiences, and may be read, interpreted, and practiced at your own risk. Do not rely on this information as a substitute to medical advice or treatment from a healthcare professional.