9 Ways to Manage Irritability in the Moment

Many of us occasionally have those days where our hormones (or something!) are raging like the Hulk. We might react to our heightened irritability with angry, emotional outbursts. The little things can really add up. When a series of small, adverse events occur, our mind turns to negative thinking, and our negative emotions growl in response. 

Irritability is a gray film over our normally clear view. When we’re grumpy and sensitive to external events, we might act irrationally or take our emotions out on ourselves or an innocent bystander. Then, we’re left feeling foolish, sorry, regretful, or even more irritable after we act out. 

An example of a chain reaction of unfortunate events and negative emotions might look like this. This past weekend, I consumed more alcohol and caffeine than usual. Just as I was coming down from a couple of glasses of wine, I developed negative internal thoughts about my self-image. Then, I spoke those thoughts out loud to my boyfriend. Verbally speaking negativity into fruition solidifies a false truth. I am more likely to believe something negative if I speak it out loud.

Just after expressing my concerns, we got ice cream from an ice cream shop. I brought my own bamboo spoon so I wouldn’t have to use a single-use plastic spoon, and the girl behind the counter commended me for it! However, she then stacked my ice cream into not one, but two paper cups because the ice cream was dripping. And this tiny act resulted in a “Jessi Smash” moment once I left the shop. I grumbled and complained because I was furious that some people are so careless about creating waste, though all the girl was trying to do was prevent me from getting sticky and messy. In the moment, I blamed my irritability on the act of wasting an extra cup, when in reality, I was irritable from the events leading up to that moment. Normally, I would accept that sustainability isn’t at the top of everyone’s priority list. Afterward, I felt very silly for acting out so strongly over something so small. 

We have the power to minimize those events and control our irritable and irrational reactions, even in the thick of a very heated moment. Below are nine ways to deal with irritability when those “Hulk Smash” moments arise. 

How to Manage Irritability

Acknowledge that you are irritable and accept that your perspective is warped by this emotion.

State out loud, “I am irritable.” Accept what you are feeling, then let that statement remind you that if you let this emotion guide you, your reaction might have consequences. Labeling and accepting negative emotions gives you a new perspective that doesn't allow the negative emotions to control your actions.

Determine the source of irritability.

Before an outburst occurs, pause and take time to understand exactly what triggered your irritability in the first place. Think big picture. For example, when I was irritable at the ice cream shop, I blamed the wasted cup for causing my irritation. But when I backed up and considered the bigger picture, I determined internal factors and personal decisions were to blame.

Consider the consequences of your actions.

Acting out on irritability and anger feels good in the moment. It’s a satisfying release to scream or growl or throw something. But in that moment, we only think of the short-term benefits of acting out. Form the habit of considering the consequences and negative outcomes that will slap you in the face later.

Extend compassion toward others and yourself.

Once you determine where your irritability is aimed, throw some softer, more delicate emotions toward the source. Ask yourself: “What might that person be feeling right now?” “What valid reasons exist for how those events turned out?” Go easy on yourself! Feeling out of sorts, irritable, and all messed up is okay. You’re human.

Practice thought-stopping.

Close your eyes and picture a barricade that blocks out negative, angry thoughts. Do absolutely nothing, and take deep breaths as you wait it out. All emotions are temporary, so if you wait long enough, your flames will douse.

Take ownership of your problems instead of blaming them on external factors.

During an irritable moment, it’s very easy to point fingers, and it feels good to do so. It’s not comfortable to accept blame or that you might be responsible for a negative outcome. However, when you take ownership of the negative outcome, you accept responsibility, which means you control the result.

Engage in physical activities to let off steam and avoid an emotional outburst.

If you have the energy and time, go for a run or hike instead of letting your emotions drive you to do something irrational. Physical activities are ways to practice mindfulness and temporarily distract you from your problems while you cool off.

Create space and quiet time for yourself.

Practicing mindfulness, meditation, deep breathing, or another peaceful activity will help calm your mind. In addition, creating space or alone time away from the problem might help solve your issue.

Counteract negative thoughts with positive ones.

Don’t let your negative thoughts control your actions. Instead, think of a positive alternative to the angry, upsetting thoughts in your head. Here are some strategies to challenge negative thought patterns.

Mental Health Blog Disclaimer

I am not a medical professional, therapist, or mental healthcare professional. The information provided on this website is for informational purposes only, comes from my own personal experiences, and may be read, interpreted, and practiced at your own risk. Do not rely on this information as a substitute to medical advice or treatment from a healthcare professional.