Let Go of What No Longer Serves You

People tend to hold onto things longer than necessary. We even grasp tightly onto things that hurt us. We cling to relationships, careers, places, objects, memories, and even thoughts that don’t serve us. Why? We do this because perhaps the bad things benefit us in small ways or temporarily. We don’t often allow situations to remain in our lives if they are 100% bad, do we?

When faced with the decision to cut out the toxicity we are failing to let go of, we make excuses. These excuses are the benefits. We also hang on to these things that are undeserving of our time because we are giving into fear. We all make fear-based decisions, and sometimes this is necessary. Anxiety and fear are here to protect us from making decisions that could harm us. But constant fear-based decision-making can become toxic, especially when we are responding to negative “what if” questions. At some point, we must question why we aren’t making decisions based on love instead. At some point, we must ask ourselves if the negatives outweigh the benefits.

We become attached to what is familiar and comfortable. We think that what has worked for us in the past should continue to work for us in the present and future. The truth is that life is full of many different chapters. As one chapter turns into the next, what has benefited us once might not continue to do so. There is a time for certain situations, relationships, or jobs. They come and go, and it’s up to us to know when to say goodbye.

I struggle with knowing when to cut out what no longer serves me. Even more than the timing, I struggle with finding the courage to actually make it happen. It has taken research, encouragement, support from loved ones, and a lot of time to take one step toward omitting certain negativity from my life. Here are some reminders of why walking away can be a good thing, and here is some encouragement to actually release your fist and let go.

How to Release What No Longer Serves You

Be honest with yourself.

To let go of what doesn't serve you, you first have to understand what it is you need to let go of. Even further, letting go of what no longer serves you begins with understanding why it no longer serves you.You must practice radical honesty with yourself (even if it gets ugly), as it takes a bit of bravery to acknowledge and understand what doesn’t serve you. What are you holding onto that makes you unhappy? What are you doing that makes you miserable? Who is ruining your day and bringing you down? What exists in your life that is toxic, no longer useful, or causing you pain? 

Acceptance is key.

Once you can accept that whatever is holding you back or causing you pain is not worth the benefits it may bring, you will be able to take a step forward in decreasing the toxicity in your life. I spent a long time mulling over the fact that certain parts of my life were crushing my soul, but I never did anything about it. This is because I hadn’t yet accepted that life could actually be better without it. 

Your perspective can weigh you down, so shift it.

We give meaning to what we are emotionally tied to. Our brains create urgency or place importance on anything our emotions feel strongly about. This is true even when the emotions are negative. We are emotionally connected to the toxic friend, the soul-sucking job, the apartment filled with memories that is located in a place you no longer want to live, or the pile of junk you can’t seem to get rid of. We are weighed down by our perspective because we’ve given so much meaning to the things that no longer belong. Shifting your perspective can help clarify what deserves to stay and what does not. Try making a list of facts about the negative subject to remove the emotional connection for a second. With a list of facts, you can begin to see the pros and cons and how this thing in your life is affecting you.

Embrace what adds value to your life and makes you happy.

Looking at what is working and what does serve you can be a clear indicator of what does the opposite for you. Focusing on the positive will bring you happiness. The more you focus on what is good, the less you focus on what is bad.

Make decisions based on love, not fear.

Say yes to what brings you joy. Stop making decisions because you are scared of what could happen. “What if it’s worse?” is a question that has held me back for years. Why not instead ask, “What if it’s better?” Choose love, joy, and happiness, and you will be led in the right direction, away from the things that weigh you down. Say, "I release all things that no longer serve me because I choose love, not fear."

Trust that good things will replace the empty space.

Things will work out just like things have always worked out. Not everything will go as planned, but remember that there are so many opportunities in this world! Closing one door will open more doors and possibilities. When you release what no longer serves you, you're creating more space for what does belong.

Less is more.

Sometimes letting go is more powerful than adding more. I’ve made the mistake of thinking that my problems could be solved by adding more responsibility, chores, or things. But the real answer was just to simply let go of what wasn’t working for me. 

Your time and energy are better spent elsewhere.

You deserve to feel happy, energized, worthy, and fulfilled. If much of your time is spent doing something that is zapping your strength or if you are surrounding yourself with people who push you down, know that you deserve better. Imagine if you could pour all of your time and energy into something wonderful instead?

let go of what doesn't serve you

Believe in yourself.

Remember that you are strong, capable, and always able to find a way forward without whatever is holding you back. Seriously, you are so much more capable than you even think. You can do anything you want once you get past the fear and obstacles holding you back. Often, it’s your mindset that is preventing you from moving forward. Believe in yourself, invest in yourself. You are worthy. You are capable of letting go of what no longer serves you.

Mental Health Blog Disclaimer

I am not a medical professional, therapist, or mental healthcare professional. The information provided on this website is for informational purposes only, comes from my own personal experiences, and may be read, interpreted, and practiced at your own risk. Do not rely on this information as a substitute to medical advice or treatment from a healthcare professional.