I Believe in Myself and That is Enough

I am so lucky because I have a support group of people who love me. I am so grateful because I receive encouragement and advice from people who care about me. I hope the people in my life know how much I appreciate them. Thank you for being there, caring, and guiding me in the best way you know how.

I’ve grown to feed off of this support. I’ve realized I am easily influenced by others, and in many ways, I depend on their advice. When people I am close to tell me I should be doing something a certain way, I believe and trust them. It becomes really confusing when I receive mixed feedback. Some people tell me to do one thing, and others tell me to do another. What do I choose? Whose advice do I take? Which path am I supposed to be on? Sometimes I become immobile because I feel I am supposed to do what I’m told, even when the advice I receive does not feel right for me. These people want what is best for me, right? 

Well, I’ve also received this advice from someone I love very much. “With an open mind, take in all the advice you receive. Sift through the different perspectives. Then combine them into your own resolution. YOU make the final decision.” This is just what I needed to hear. 

I choose my crowd carefully because I know I’m so easily influenced by others. Really, we all are. According to entrepreneur and motivational speaker Jim Rohn, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” I’ve observed this quote for a couple of years only to realize how true it is. It’s one reason I’ve changed as I dated different people, lived with different people, or spent a lot of time with certain friends versus others. Presently, I am absolutely a combination of the five people I talk to the most. I understand how largely I am shaped by the people in my life.

But I’ve recently turned inward and explored an introverted and independent part of myself I didn’t know existed. I think the year of 2020 taught many people a similar thing. Alone time for reflection and cleansing my mind has been essential to my well-being this past year. It has come in the form of writing and journaling, solo tripping, taking showers, taking walks and hikes, exercising, and lying in bed for a bit too long. It has resulted in me turning away from others so I can focus on myself and overcome self doubt. I’ve started to trust myself more and to take that specific piece of advice that reminds me I make my own decisions. Ultimately, I am in control of my life, and no one else needs to be put in charge. 

I do not need to rely on others to give me the answers. I’ll state it again: I am so grateful for my support system. But I know what is best for me better than anyone. No one knows me better than me. I have to remind myself every single day that I am capable. I am confident, decisive, and worthy. I believe in myself. I repeat, I believe in me. It takes a lot of practice and time to turn words into reality. It took forming these positive habits over and over and over again until I could look into the mirror and state, “I believe in myself,” and know truly deep down that this is enough. When it comes to taking a step forward, I just need to believe that I can.

I won’t let others hold me back. I do not need another’s blessing to move forward, nor do I need to please others when my lifestyle is what is at stake. I don’t need to explain myself further, but I want to. 

If there is a person in your life who does not believe that you are capable, 1. You are not alone, and 2. You’re probably going to relate a lot to this.

Most people I surround myself with pump me up with positivity. They inject me with a dose of encouragement and a shot of confidence. Most people I speak to make me believe that the possibilities are endless, that I’m not likely to make a huge mistake because we aren’t often in situations where we are totally screwed. But there are a few people in my life who make me question my abilities and hesitate before I make a move. When I’m around these people, I truly believe that I and my options are limited.

To the people that hold me back:

I am held back when you tell me you don’t think I can do something. My self-confidence falters when you tell me to proceed with caution. I lose momentum when your response to my plan is, “Yeah, we’ll see,” or when you shake your head and say, “One day, you’ll see that I’m right.”

I perceive negative feedback in a dark way because, don’t forget, I tend to believe what people tell me. Do you truly believe that I am not capable? Have you accepted in your own mind that the words escaping from your mouth fly straight to my brain with, “I don’t believe in you.” written all over them? You doubt me and my abilities. That cuts so deep that you’ve left a scar, and it’s with me wherever I go.

I believe that your version of support is filled with good intentions and based on personal experience. I must remind you, though, that your experience is entirely different from mine. We are two different people with two different scenarios at play. It seems that you think what is best for you is also best for others. And if this were true, then everyone would be the same, taking identical paths. Imagine if when you or others came to me asking for advice, I responded with, “This way right here is the right way, and if you stray from this advice, bad things will likely happen.”

If you seek to influence or manipulate me into choosing what you want, you’ve been doing a good job for a long time. I’ve always believed that you know best. And you do know best. You know what is best for you.

Negativity profoundly affects me. It’s my fault because I let it snake into my brain and burrow there. I’ve credited your input with an immeasurable value, so what you say goes. What a challenge it has been to unlearn that. Your guidance has gotten me far, and I am thankful. But at some point, our paths diverged and we should both try to accept that.

The concept of chasing dreams and indulging in passions full-time might feel unrealistic and cringy to you. But for me, these ideas light me up with the same excitement I felt when I was seven years old waiting for Santa and building forts in the woods. I think that the world is full of opportunities, not just because my emotions tell me so. Because I see others lead by example, because I’ve run the numbers to understand the real possibilities, because I am creative enough to find a way.

I do not think the easy route is always the better route. I would rather be stressed and happy than comfortable and unfulfilled.

I want to start making more decisions based on love instead of fear. I’ve lived so much of my life in fear, and this is due to a combination of nature and also nurture. Anxiety has kept me safe but in pain. Fear of the unknown has kept me stable but unhappy. I’ve been practicing stepping out of my comfort zone for a while now, and you know, it feels really good and the results are proving themselves.

I am only twenty-five, and I know how quickly life could be snatched away from me. I think the older me would thank me for living my life the way I want to. Life is short, sometimes really, really short. If I am lucky enough to live for a while, I hope I don’t look back and feel regret for not trying something.

Likely, the worst thing that could happen is that I have to start over and re-evaluate. Failure is only what we define it as. What you might view as a failure, I might view as an opportunity to learn, grow, and try again.

“What do you have to lose?” You ask. 

What do I have to gain?” I retort. 

“What might go wrong?” You question.

“What might go right?” I try.

How can I shift your view into a positive and believing one? How can I prove to you that I not only have a plan but that this plan was made just for me? Will you only believe in me once I prove something to you in the form of tangible evidence? Must you see to believe?

We each struggle to open our minds to the other person’s view enough to reach the same conclusion. We value different things right now. We each see a different path as the solution. But since this is my life we are talking about, I get to decide. You can provide me with positive support that fuels my confidence and propels me forward. Or you can feed me negative doubt that serves as an obstacle I have to climb over before I can continue the climb.

Regardless, I can move forward with what I believe is right for me. You don’t have to believe in me because I believe in myself. 

Mental Health Blog Disclaimer

I am not a medical professional, therapist, or mental healthcare professional. The information provided on this website is for informational purposes only, comes from my own personal experiences, and may be read, interpreted, and practiced at your own risk. Do not rely on this information as a substitute to medical advice or treatment from a healthcare professional.