How to Live in Alignment with Your Values

As you travel along this journey called life, do you live in alignment with your values? Are you in sync with your moral compass? Do you make decisions based on your ethics?

Humans like to define things. We like to label everything with definitions and boundaries so we can find a deeper understanding of our purpose, our feelings, and our lives. When we can explain our existence, we feel a sense of belonging and less confusion. Our brains like to make sense of things by saying, “This is what it means. That is how it works.” It would be simple if things were either black or white; this or that. But life is far too complicated for that to be the general case. Oftentimes, the solution or explanation exists between shades of gray.

But hey, we can still try. If we solve problems and make decisions according to how we define things, then sobeit. We just might need to adjust those definitions and fluctuate as the seasons change. 

When considering whether or not you live in alignment with your values, you must first identify and define those values. Yes, create more definitions! Many big companies have a defined set of core values that they ask their employees to comply with and base their decisions around. You can have a personal set of important values that you live by, too. Examples could include honesty, integrity, sustainability, compassion, respect, or equality. But you have to choose them for yourself.

What does it mean to live by your values?

Let’s paint a picture for all the visual learners. Pretend you are a solar system. All of the decisions you make take the form of planets, moons, comets, meteors, and asteroids. Pretend that the sun, at the center of the You the Solar System, is your heart. And your heart holds your values. Now picture that you are so true to yourself and so sure of your morals that all of your decisions revolve around your heart, just as the planets and other space matter orbit the sun.

When you live in reflection of your values, you are placing a core set of definitions at the heart of your decision-making. You are staying true to the most authentic version of yourself. You are fulfilling your purpose or living your life by doing what you believe is right.

How do I identify and define my values?

What are your core values? In what direction does your moral compass point?

Identify your values by practicing self-awareness. Ask yourself questions and explore your feelings, goals, and desires. Here are some prompts to start with.

• What are things you do often that make you feel good about yourself?

• Name five things that are incredibly important to you.

• How do you want people to view you?

• How do you want to view yourself?

• What are some of your goals in life?

• What words come to mind when you think of ethics and morals?

• What things do you do that make you feel bad about yourself?

• What makes you feel included?

• How do you want to grow as a person?

As you answer more and more questions about yourself, you will start to recognize patterns. Notice the emerging themes and let them lead you to develop your list of values. I suggest creating two lists: core values and goal values.

Core Values

Your core values are the main principles or standards that your behavior and decisions revolve around. Shoot for between five and eight values that you most closely align with and write these down. Provide definitions for each so you’ll remember what each word or phrase means to you. 

Goal Values

Your goal values are sub-principles that you would like your behavior and decisions to revolve around, but that you don’t currently regularly practice. It’s important to have something to work for, as there are always areas in your life that you can improve. Shoot for between two and four goal values that you want to reach for and write these down. Provide definitions for each so you’ll remember what each word means to you. 

How do I ensure I am living by my values?

Once you have a list of your core values, goal values, and their definitions, it’s time to live by them! Here are ways to actively live in alignment with your values.

Keep them upfront and in focus. 

Write out your values and maybe their definitions, too. Keep your list in a place you look every day, like your refrigerator or your mirror. Or consider adding these values to your vision board. Just make sure they are situated in front of your eyes throughout your week! When you expose yourself over and over again to these words, your brain will subconsciously form a habit to prioritize these values.

Understand how your values show up for you. 

If you’re aware of the benefits of living in alignment with your values, you’re much more likely to prioritize them. So, what do they do for you? What is your “why” for practicing this way of living? Living in reflection of your ethics, morals, and values decreases stress, anxiety, and depression associated with not living authentically. It adds fulfillment to your life and provides a sense of purpose. 

Check-in with yourself when you make decisions.

We make a whole heck of a lot of decisions throughout the day. Many of them are habits you don’t even have to think about. For the decisions that require a bit of effort, ask yourself questions before you provide your answer or make your move. When you find you’re stuck with the task of making a hard decision, revisiting your values can lead you to the answer. 

Be able to notice and recognize when your values are out of alignment.

Something might feel a little off when you make a decision that doesn’t reflect your values or beliefs. Your values are essentially your moral compass, so pay attention to your gut when it tells you that something doesn’t feel right. It’s okay to be imperfect. Adjust your goals and values as you learn and change.

Play this card game. Seriously.  

We’re Not Really Strangers is a card game I just bought to keep on my coffee table for when company comes over. My boyfriend and I are so obsessed, we’ve already gone through most of the deck on our own. This game challenges players to get to know one another on a deeper level by prompting questions you wouldn’t normally ask each other. The deck of cards consists of three levels. Level 1 is Perception. Level 2 is Connection. Level 3 is Reflection. The higher the level, the deeper the question. It’s intense. It’s uncomfortable. It’s challenging. It’s beautiful. You should definitely buy it right now. Also, there are expansion packs, including self love, dating, couples, relationships, breakups, forgiveness, and more! This game has further defined specific values for my boyfriend and me. It has challenged us to update our goals and reevaluate our principles. This game is revolutionary!

Before we part, I’ll leave you with a few powerful quotes to fuel your personal growth and inner alignment. 

“When the basis for your actions is inner alignment with the present moment, your actions become empowered by the intelligence of life itself.” -Eckhart Tolle

“If your actions don’t align with your values, you’ll continue to experience a chasm of discontent.” - The Minimalists

“When you live your life in alignment with a purpose that is centered on selflessly adding value for others, opportunities become abundant and your life becomes fulfilled." -Hal Elrod

Mental Health Blog Disclaimer

I am not a medical professional, therapist, or mental healthcare professional. The information provided on this website is for informational purposes only, comes from my own personal experiences, and may be read, interpreted, and practiced at your own risk. Do not rely on this information as a substitute to medical advice or treatment from a healthcare professional.