Resting and Baby Stepping My Way to Happiness and Success

Sometimes I feel stagnant in life, like I’ve pressed the pause button on personal growth and development while time continues around me. I watch others move forward and figure out solutions that I haven’t come up with yet. I watch the train I’m supposed to board take off without me, and I’m left standing in the dust that swept up in its wake. 

In my mind, I group these instances where I feel frozen in time into two different categories. One category feels so suffocating that I can’t move. All of my responsibilities and interests overwhelm me so that I can’t think of new ideas or check tasks off my to-do lists. I can only vegetate in my bed, feeling sad and anxious because I have no energy left to keep going. The other category feels so frustrating that I could scream. I grow angry with all I have to do and how far I have to go. My frustration sometimes reaches such a high level that toxic, negative thoughts are dumped into my head. I lose sight of my plan, blame external factors, and pout like a whiny baby. 

I contribute the pain of feeling stagnant and the negative emotions associated with this mindset to one main culprit: not getting enough rest. To me, rest means sleep, space, distance, relaxation, enjoyment, time off, and self care. Over the past year, I’ve become an expert on giving myself adequate rest. It’s not often lately I don’t have high energy levels to maintain a steady pace that keeps me productive at most things I’m focused on. It hasn’t always been this way, and it certainly won’t always be this way because life is good at producing obstacles that force us to reevaluate, try again, and formulate new plans.

At the moment, those instances of feeling unable to move forward are few and far between. Because I give myself time, love, and space, most days I am taking steps forward. I can’t pour from an empty cup, so I make sure I’m fully hydrated and fueled with what I know I need to feel good and accomplish goals. Read on for two of my secrets to success!

A small secret to happiness in my life is taking tiny baby steps to success. The steps I take that lead me to happiness and success are so small you might not notice them on a daily basis. But every movement counts. Every centimeter is growth.

When I zoom out and look down at myself from above, I feel proud. How do I compare to my past self? Two years ago, I had just graduated from college and started working as a full-time engineer. I wasn’t working towards anything else career-wise besides trying to stay afloat at an unfulfilling job. Crippling anxiety attacked me almost daily. My sleep schedule and self care routine needed a lot of work. I had lost touch with my true passions. Health issues overwhelmed me to a disabling degree, and I didn’t know what measures I needed to take to heal myself and prevent the issues from worsening. Two years ago, I had a long way to go to find real happiness. 

Today, my life looks a lot different. I am working consistently towards three different careers. I enjoy two of them very, very much! One career path I have embarked on led to writing the first draft of a fiction novel and starting a website where I blog about my passion for mental health. My current treatment for Generalized Anxiety Disorder has produced the happiest, most self aware version of myself. Rest is a huge priority for me. I am so familiar with my passions that I don’t go one day without expressing my feelings about them or taking a step towards my goals that align with my passions. I’ve found acceptance for my physical limitations and make choices every day that allow me to be as healthy as possible. Writing these accomplishments down feels huge! 

I celebrated the small victories along the way because those small steps are what made up the entire journey and destination of what I just described. The book I wrote started as a blank page. The clarity and happiness I found during my mental health journey started with daily panic attacks. The choices I make today to accommodate my physical health issues could have never been made back when I had no idea what was happening to my body. The journey from two years ago to now has been equally as frustrating as it has been incredible because every day started with the challenge of taking another step. From one day to the next, change was not noticed. The baby steps I took in every aspect of life were tiny but all together accumulated into a grand transformation. 

To give you one idea of how these baby steps looked over the course of two years, I’ll share examples from my mental health journey. At one point in my life, I woke up every day to panic and dread. Traveling, going to work, taking a hike, feeling physical pain, making a life change of any kind, and more - all prompted hot, bubbling panic to fill my chest and dark, negative thoughts to fill my head. When someone sits in that kind of misery for days, weeks, or months on end, how do they get out?

I didn’t know what else to do other than take a small step, one at a time. Have a conversation with a therapist. Speak my fears out loud. Let one negative thought float by without entertaining it. Try that again when the next evil “what if” thought enters my brain. Ride out the panic attack. Deep breaths through the dread. Listen to a five-minute guided meditation on self love. Read one chapter of a self help book. Apply cognitive behavioral therapy techniques one minute at a time.

I practiced CBT methods over and over until habits formed. The more steps I took, the further along I walked on the path to feeling happier. The panicky weight that crushed my chest grew lighter and lighter and lighter, so slowly that I hardly noticed a difference as the days went by. But time went by anyway, and change occurred. Time, along with my small efforts, healed me.

Taking baby steps to success is a habit engrained inside of me now. At the start of those big new tasks two years ago, taking that first step felt laborious and foreboding. I applied the baby step method I took to save my mental health to all other areas in my life. When you do anything enough times, it becomes more familiar and easier. Muscle memory forms in your brain when you practice a skill through repetition. Your brain recognizes that since you’re practicing a task often, it would be more efficient to create a system that allows you to continue practicing without having to pay attention. This is how a habit or reflex is formed. It’s how I learned to overcome panic attacks, how I learned to play sports, and how I learned to grind out work even when I don’t feel like doing it. This is the reason that taking a baby step forward in any department I care about or want to move forward in is second nature to me now.

You Deserve Rest

Along this journey of baby stepping towards happiness and success, I allow myself enough rest to maintain a steady pace. At first, I really did try sprinting. When I recognized change was necessary, I wanted to fix everything IMMEDIATELY. But as a former track athlete, I’m well aware that attempting to sprint a long distance race will leave you gasping for air and depleted of energy after one lap. 

You know, side note. This whole baby stepping/pacing myself method has made me a more patient person. When I was younger, I was pretty demanding and aggressive. But maturity and recognition of how we actually create profound internal change has created a calm, compassionate, patient part of me. Much like my sweet Mom :) I’m definitely nowhere near as sweet as her, but I’m telling you the change is noticeable. Anyway…

Having both patience and the mental strength to complete a long, grueling cross country race is ideal. But when you break the workout into smaller sections and complete them one at a time, you eventually find yourself at the finish line. Even if you have to slow down during some sections or take a water break, you can cross the line. We all have different abilities and different resting requirements. If we don’t take those limitations or requirements seriously, then how can we expect ourselves to make it through? This is why rest days are important.

I would have never made it through nine years of running track without off days, proper hydration, and treatment of injuries. And I would have never achieved the happiness and success of today without a ton of sleep, solo reflection time, and Harry Potter movie marathons. :)

At this moment in time, I feel gratitude, peace, and acceptance for my journey. I am optimistic but still realistic. I still struggle with many setbacks and limiting habits, of course. I’m HUMAN. Don’t let me paint too pretty of a picture. Seriously, just last week, I threw a whiny tantrum about my back pain not letting me run anymore (We get it, Jess. Go ride your bike instead. At least you have two legs that work.) And two days ago, I stepped in freshly poured concrete because I am still an oblivious idiot. 

But if I’ve come this far in two years, I’m so eager to experience the next two years of growth! Don't forget why rest days are important! You deserve rest, friend.

Mental Health Blog Disclaimer

I am not a medical professional, therapist, or mental healthcare professional. The information provided on this website is for informational purposes only, comes from my own personal experiences, and may be read, interpreted, and practiced at your own risk. Do not rely on this information as a substitute to medical advice or treatment from a healthcare professional.