Emotional Highs and Lows

Emotions are like landscapes. And if this is true, then Earth is a human. Unique landscapes are abundant on planet Earth, covering its floor like ivy climbs old brick buildings. You live on an individual landscape - be it a mountain, the plains, a wetland, or a coastal cliffside. Travel not far, and you’ll find another swatch of scenery, another piece of patchwork that quilts this colossal rock in space. All together, they make the planet whole, rare, and magnificent. If the Earth is a human and the landscapes are emotions, then can you visualize how complete and beautiful you are because of each and every emotion that fills you up? We can connect to nature to quite literally ground us. The landscape we stand on, the ground that holds us up, supports us like our emotions do.

"Why do I have highs and lows?" The highs and lows within our emotions protect us, guide us, teach us, entertain us, and make us human. Our moods and feelings shift and alter in shape. Since nothing is temporary, change is prevalent, sometimes too much so. We travel through time periods lasting days, weeks, or many months sometimes, where our emotions are like the mountains. There are lengthy climbs, jagged edges, flat plateaus and valleys, and crowded forests. We feel chaotic and unstable, and those periods of time are exhausting with high highs and, consequently, the lowest of lows. How can we best handle the sharp peaks and steep drops during these rocky times?

We all have these days - or weeks or even longer - where we feel many different emotions or maybe just a few really strong ones. Strong shifts in emotion hit hard during these times, or maybe they don’t. Perhaps they are more subtle, creeping up on you so slowly you can’t place your finger on the moment you turned from content to blazing angry. You could describe your fluctuations in mood as unstable, overwhelming, or very challenging to handle.

You’re like a confetti party popper, and when you erupt, you’re a show of every color. Every feeling. Sad, happy, angry, excited, eager, anxious, overwhelmed, lazy, irritable, energetic, scared, and joyous. Or maybe just a couple of those, but you bounce back and forth just enough to feel the pain of the struggle. If you had to draw a picture of your emotions, your mural would mirror the terrain of the earth.

The days we feel all sorts of emotions are unique to each of us. Your emotional highs and lows look and feel different than mine, than his, than hers, than theirs. We cannot compare our tolerance levels, our breaking points, or our triggers because no human is the same. But we can all feel comfort and a connection through the simple fact that we can feel many different emotions. During times of emotional chaos, there are many ways to cope. I will share what consistently helps calm my mood swings after twenty-five years of experiencing them.

How I Cope with Emotional Highs and Lows

I embrace being very self-aware. 

There are no days that go by where I’m not analyzing how I feel. When the emotional whirlwind comes crashing down, sometimes suddenly and other times gradually, I pause. I read all of the signs, the physical ones too. It’s important to observe your emotions and pay attention to what they are telling you.

During especially tumultuous times, I keep a detailed journal of the food I eat, the times I sleep, the emotional and physical symptoms I experience, how often I workout, etc. Over time, I notice trends and discover certain triggers that cause mood swings or particularly unpleasant emotions to hover. Check in with yourself. Writing down or stating out loud exactly how you feel is the first step in understanding what is going on in your mind and body.

I take breaks and am selfish with my time.

You’re always working way too hard, aren’t you? Your attention is dragged from task to task, demanded by so many people, and you are left with little time at the end of each day to spend on yourself. Some of you don’t even know how to find a way out of this because… I mean… the kids, the dog, a stressful job, needy family members, etc.

But there is always a way. You must remember that you will better take care of others and your work if you yourself are taken care of first. You’ll be in better spirits and health if you take some selfish time to love yourself and rest. You can’t work on overdrive for everyone and everything else and expect yourself to maintain a stable emotional state. When I started taking more time to myself this year and saying no occasionally, I noticed an increase in my emotional stability. 

I ask for help.

We can’t function without the help of others. Truly. There is actually little we ever do alone without at least a tiny bit of outside influence. I have wonderful people in my life who are always willing to extend love, encouragement, and advice my way. I do not feel ashamed for needing a nudge in the right direction or a helping hand to pull me back up. We all need love and support. I’ve also sought professional help on multiple occasions. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is one of the most important steps I’ve ever taken for my mental health. 

I get a lottt of sleep.

We all require our own special number of hours to function properly, and for some special reason I require ten to feel my best. Now that I average that amount every night, I never experience sleepiness throughout the day, and my mental health thanks me so much for it. When I don’t get enough sleep, in addition to feeling fatigued, I am less creative and moodier.

I limit alcohol and caffeine.

Guys. I LOVE dry white wine and I ADORE coffee. But my digestive system and mental health both love life better without them. I’ve experimented with these drinks a lot this year. I’ve spent months drinking alcohol or coffee most days, and I’ve spent months cutting each drink out separately and both drinks out together. I never fully realized how much they affected my mood swings until I gave myself this proof. I experience higher highs and most definitely lower lows, and more heart palpitations, anxiety, and irritability when consuming these drugs. As much I enjoy them, I feel more emotionally stable without them.

I practice mindfulness.

Mindfulness is my favorite form of meditation. My two favorite times to practice are when I am surrounded by nature and when I am experiencing negative emotions. Being mindful allows me to be fully present and aware of my senses. During my emotionally distressed days, I calm myself through deep breathing exercises (inhale for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8 and repeat until I feel peaceful), relaxing every muscle in my body (starting at the crown of my head and going all the way to my toes), Hatha yoga, and focusing on each of my senses - touch, taste, smell, sight, sound - instead of the negative thoughts that attempt to steal my attention.

I actively replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

“What if” thoughts like to prance around in my head on occasion. The evil thoughts can lead to anxiety and panic, sadness, and irritability if they hang around for too long. We aren’t always in control of our emotions, but we are usually in control of our thoughts. Our thoughts have strong effects on the way we feel. When we feast on anger with aggressive made-up scenarios, we welcome more fire. When we entertain scary possibilities, we invite the panic in. The moment I notice I am allowing my thoughts to take a dark, winding path, I stop walking. I turn around and walk down a shinier lane by counteracting the negative thoughts with positive ones, like thoughts of gratitude, compassion, and peace.

I embrace the pain. It’s okay to not be okay.

Sometimes the outside reflects an image much different than what is going on inside. Like volcanos; on the surface they look like pointy mountains, covered in pretty rocks, greenery, or snow. But inside, lava is bubbling and threatening to burst. I can compare my emotions to this landscape when I experience irritability or anger. But if I’m not handling the negative emotions well, sometimes a bit of lava can erupt! Sometimes the negative emotions are so strong that it seems nothing can help me cope with it except riding it out and feeling the pain. So I allow myself to feel. I accept that having emotions is better than not feeling anything at all. I remember that it’s okay to not be okay.

I shift my perspective.

I’ve painted a new picture. On the days where my emotions are all over the place, I envision my moods swinging around like monkeys on vines. The deep blues are the sea; low, dark, and vast. Utter bliss is a high and stable plateau; a throne rising above all else. An adrenaline rush is the top of a mountain, high, peaking, and dangerous. Depression is like the desert; barren and flat. Anxiety is a coastal cliff, one side dropping off into uncertainty. Confusion winds like rivers. Grief is frozen like the tundra. Some days are like the epic Rocky Mountains, and some are more like the rolling, green hills of Missouri. Our emotions are as beautiful as nature.

Mental Health Blog Disclaimer

I am not a medical professional, therapist, or mental healthcare professional. The information provided on this website is for informational purposes only, comes from my own personal experiences, and may be read, interpreted, and practiced at your own risk. Do not rely on this information as a substitute to medical advice or treatment from a healthcare professional.