Get Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable
It is human nature to take the path of least resistance. We make decisions based on our previous experiences, so our brain tells us to travel down a familiar road that has served us right before. We know we can trust what is easy and what has always kept us safe.
Most of us are Stage 1 Grugs. We’re comfortable with being comfortable.
We seek security and convenience. The method of chasing the easy route is instinctual. Have you ever seen the animated movie The Croods? This movie tells the story of a prehistoric family of cave people who live their life carefully and fearfully in order to survive their very dangerous time period. The father caveman, Grug, states that you must “never not be afraid” and that “new is bad."
He believes that to survive, the family must continue doing what has always worked for them even though it’s a miserable life. They hunt for food and otherwise stay inside their cave. Well, [spoiler alert] life happens, and their cave becomes uninhabitable. So, a very irritable, uneasy, and unprepared Grug and his family must venture out into the unknown and find their way in a changing world full of challenges.
I know a lot of Grugs who do not embrace change, stick to the status quo, and resist new ideas because they seem risky, different, and uncomfortable. The Grugs of the world are not doing anything wrong; they’re simply following natural human tendencies. They keep life comfortable and familiar. They believe they can avoid change until their cave crumbles and they’re left with no choice. Their stony mindset adds another wall to climb over. Since they aren’t prepared to embrace change, the transition is even harder.
I can understand why people would want to be like Grug. Why create more work for yourself when you have the option to float by in your raft on the lazy river? The answer is because change is inevitable. Life is a constant state of flux, and we are constantly being challenged to adapt, whether you like it or not.
These changes and challenges look a bit different than crumbling caves for us first-world dwellers. Instead, we might face examples like the following.
You’re unhealthy, so you must begin an exercise program.
You’ve reached a dead end at your unsatisfying job. The solution is to update that dusty resume and apply for new positions.
An important conversation must be had with your partner, but confrontation terrifies you.
You’ve dreamed of traveling to New Zealand for many years. The only way to make this happen is to save up money and actually go.
Adapting to these changes takes tremendous effort for some people because it will be uncomfortable. And some people are not okay with being uncomfortable. Or perhaps they fear that changing their current situation could make things even worse.
Get off the couch, Grug. You can do it.
If you act like Grug, you will feel very comfortable eating chips on the couch, going through the familiar motions of your boring job, not bringing up a tough conversation with your partner, and continuing to spend money on objects rather than save it for a trip. But you’re going to stay out of shape, continue to feel unfulfilled, continue having relationship problems, and never go to New Zealand.
If you are afraid of change or being uncomfortable, you are not alone. If you want to push through the barrier holding you back, there are steps you can take. Read on to learn how to live outside your comfort zone.
Acknowledge What You Need To Change
First, you need to acknowledge what is causing you pain, that you are avoiding, or that is begging to be reshaped and rewritten. Be honest with yourself. Ask yourself these questions.
What have you been pushing off over and over again?
What is weighing your heart down right now?
What is holding you back from moving forward?
What fear do you want to overcome?
Accept Your Feelings
Now that you’ve nailed down the obstacles that require special effort from you, take a look at your list of those obstacles. For reference, when I look at my list, I feel like an elephant just sat right on my chest. This list of changes I need to make is so confrontational and so… uncomfortable!!!
Practice acceptance of your feelings. Accept that discomfort, uncertainty, and fear are all okay to feel. Suffering is a normal, inevitable part of life. Give yourself permission to feel these temporary negative emotions.
Reshape Your Mindset On “Uncomfortable”
People struggle with making a change because the process may bring them face to face with their fears. At the very least, it’s going to be uncomfortable. If you don’t want to feel discomfort, then I challenge you to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Stop viewing discomfort as something negative. View discomfort as a positive source of growth. In order to get where you want to go or become who you want to be, you will have to climb up a mountain that will get your heart hammering and your lungs gasping for air. The journey may be unpleasant, but you know what you get when you reach the top: the view. In the meantime, you must start hiking, and you must accept that the more uneasiness you feel, the more you are developing. You grow outside your comfort zone.
Expose Yourself to Uncomfortable Situations
To become more comfortable with the feared “discomfort,” you can familiarize yourself with it. You get comfortable with being comfortable by making feeling uncomfortable a habit. You form habits by practicing repetition to create an easy pattern to follow. Repeatedly put yourself in uncomfortable situations, and you will learn how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Look at your list of obstacles again. You will overcome each of these setbacks and fears by getting up close and personal with them. This method is essentially exposure therapy. Expose yourself to what scares you; over time, you won’t even flinch. For example, the first time you rode a bike, you were frightened. But now pedaling is as simple as walking. Compare the learning curve of your job when you first started to how well you know your trade now. With time, you can get used to anything new or scary.
Everything is Risky, so Grow Outside Your Comfort Zone
When you step outside of your comfort zone, you are growing. Think of your comfort zone as your house. It’s cozy, safe, and has everything you need to survive. But when you travel outside your home, you meet new people, see beautiful scenery, learn about yourself, expand your creativity, and grow!
Consider that everything you do is risky. Not exercising risks health issues. Staying at your dull job risks you falling into a depression, and with any job, there is always the risk of getting laid off. Not confronting your partner about painful topics risks the issues never getting solved. Not following your dreams risks not finding happiness and fulfillment.
Do yourself a favor, and take a step over the line that acts as a barrier to your zone of expansion. Take baby steps at first, and always keep moving forward. Practice getting familiar with your fears. Do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Keep exposing yourself to discomfort, and one day it won’t hold you back anymore.
Mental Health Blog Disclaimer
I am not a medical professional, therapist, or mental healthcare professional. The information provided on this website is for informational purposes only, comes from my own personal experiences, and may be read, interpreted, and practiced at your own risk. Do not rely on this information as a substitute to medical advice or treatment from a healthcare professional.