Personality Development Program Transformation - Low Compliance Trait

Dharma’s Personality Development Program

*Paid Promotion*

I recently had the opportunity to participate in an 8-week neuroscience-based program designed to improve my emotional well-being by targeting a specific maladaptive personality trait. A company called Dharma Life Sciences offers a personality development program to individuals interested in strengthening their emotional health, personality traits, and neural pathways. Naturally, when they reached out to me to explain their mission and program, I was all in!

I was assigned a mentor, Steven (an incredibly open-minded, emotionally intelligent, and thought-provoking human), who guided me through each step of the program. He helped me analyze my emotions and develop my maladaptive personality trait through a customized personal development plan.

Dharma Life Sciences offers five different domains to target: emotional health, wellness, leadership, entrepreneur, and student. Within these domains are subdomains: specific categories in your life that you would like to focus on improving. I chose the emotional health domain. And the subdomain I wanted to target was… (obviously) anxiety! 

I took a series of personality tests to determine a few traits I have that tend to hinder my mental health and increase my anxiety. My mentor, Steven, analyzed my results and provided three personality traits that might be negatively impacting me. I was very fascinated to hear that these three traits were: high sensitivity, high optimism, and low compliance. High sensitivity definitely made sense to me. High optimism was a little confusing because I often had anxiety fueling much less than optimistic thoughts, and I perceived the optimism I do have as a good thing. But low compliance just baffled me. However, after some analysis and discussion, we decided that the trait I should focus on improving was… low compliance.

Low Compliance Trait of a Girl Who Hates the Status Quo

At first, I did not think of myself as someone with low compliance. In fact, I am totally not non-compliant. I follow the law. I am responsible. I get my work done. I listen to others’ advice and suggestions. I don’t try to cause trouble. I compromise with the people I care about. 

But I scored “low compliance” on a personality test, so I needed to think a little deeper.

Compliant. What does that mean? Oxford Languages said compliance is “the action or face of complying with a wish or command.” While pondering the definition, three words came to mind: passive, conforming, and submissive. These words have a negative connotation, don’t they? They do to me. I realized I am less compliant than I thought because I sure am not passive, conforming, and submissive.

Oxford Languages also shared the physics definition: “the property of a material undergoing elastic deformation or (of a gas) change in volume when subjected to an applied force. It is equal to the reciprocal of stiffness.” To be compliant means you’re flexible in the face of an obstacle. Therefore, compliant must also mean agreeable, cooperative, and willing to shift your actions, even when confronted with a challenge. Compliance is yielding to others, bending to their suggestions, and not being rigid or stiff.

I suddenly understood what my version of low compliance is. I challenge the status quo. I always speak up when I strongly disagree. I question the rules and strive to resist society’s expectations. I suggest something different to my “superiors” when I wish to change their rules. I use quotations around “superiors” because I have trouble thinking of certain people as more deserving of respect than others. I crave independence so deeply that I am willing to cause a confrontation to achieve it. And so, it seems the trait “low compliance” describes me just right.

But I had never viewed being non-compliant in certain situations as a negative trait. In fact, it’s a strength because I stand up for myself, I am progressive, I provide a fresh perspective and new ideas, I am independent, and I live in alignment with my values so deeply that no one can change that. When I realized I prided myself on this trait, I was very hesitant to participate in a program designed to alter my thought patterns and make me more compliant. But I recognized that there are benefits to being compliant, and I am always eager for opportunities to experience personal growth!

I entered this personality development program with the goal of shifting my perspective and understanding how being more compliant is a positive thing. 

Let’s Play Mind Games

This 8-week program consisted of spending approximately 15 minutes a day on an app that provides brain, mind, and real-world actions in the form of games and journal entries. Additionally, each week I spent an hour talking on the phone with Steven to assess my progress.

I learned very quickly that the purpose of these games was to rewire my brain to consider the advantages and disadvantages of voicing my contradicting opinion. By the end of this program, I would know when to keep my views to myself. 

The games challenged me to consider the negatives of expressing my contradicting opinion instead of the positives. Normally, I tended to only focus on why it was good for me to voice my opinion. The games made me realize that I considered the consequences much less often. Focusing on the negatives really challenged my apparent tendency to have high optimism, but I let the program guide me anyway.

The app provided me with situations that challenged my views, and the goal was to focus on the consequences of speaking my mind. I was supposed to answer the questions with answers deemed as compliant. And man… this made me really angry. 

I was given situations like the ones below.

• Your co-worker steals your idea at work and gets rewarded for it. 

• Your friend asks to borrow money to buy an expensive purse. 

• Your boss gives you more work to do this weekend that will prevent you from attending your sister’s wedding. 

I had to provide answers that aligned with conforming to others. My answers basically let people step all over me! WHY WOULD I DO THAT??? I would always stand up for myself if someone stole my idea and got credit for it. I would not feed my friend’s shopping addiction. I would tell my boss NO to more work because my sister is much more important to me than a project. But in this app, I had to comply. I had to list the negative consequences of expressing my opinions: create conflict with your co-worker, lose your friend, appear unreliable to your boss...

As the days and weeks went by, I stopped feeling so offended by these made-up situations and my compliant answers. The goal was not necessarily to always comply; it was to be able to recognize the consequences of my actions. I felt my brain start to rewire. In my own life, I was holding my tongue a little more often. Instead of only thinking about myself and the positives, I also thought about others and the negatives. I experienced less conflict and fewer situations in which I felt the need to apologize for speaking a truth that offended or hurt others.

Mental Health Blog Disclaimer

I am not a medical professional, therapist, or mental healthcare professional. The information provided on this website is for informational purposes only, comes from my own personal experiences, and may be read, interpreted, and practiced at your own risk. Do not rely on this information as a substitute to medical advice or treatment from a healthcare professional.

The Result

This program allowed me to view confrontational situations through a new lens. I think differently now when I’m confronted with a situation in which I do not want to comply because I’m able to weigh both the advantages and disadvantages of speaking my mind. Having control over my situation while being able to limit conflict has also reduced my anxiety.

To be clear, I still have low compliance. I’m happy to be this way because I admire my strong desire to be independent. I just want to do my own thing! I’m still quite willing to cause a confrontation and take risks to achieve that. But it’s also important to me that I do not become so defiant that I overlook the feelings and needs of others. I am now much more likely to consider the consequences before speaking my honest and blunt opinion and more likely to recognize a situation when it’s more beneficial to have a filter.

Thank you, Dharma Life Sciences, for helping shape my perspective! And thank you, Steven, for being awesome!

Check out their site here to learn more about this company and its beneficial program! :)