25 Life Lessons from a 25-Year-Old

I turn 25 today! I’m in the middle of my quarter-life crisis at this point in time. That hit pretty hard at age 23 and continued into my 24th year. But I’ve figured a few things out since this weird, awakening chapter began. Today I’ll share 25 life lessons I've learned now that my feelings of uncertainty about what I want to do with my life, concern about the quality of my life, and anxiety about the fact that I’m gonna die someday are slowly, but surely ebbing away.

Buckle up, friends, if you haven’t reached this ripe old age yet. If you’re older than me, though, you can chuckle silently to yourself at all I have yet to learn. Anyway, here are some wise words bundled in a mixture of love and fiery passion from a 25-year-old Jess. 

1. Listen to advice from others. Form your own decision in the end.

Don’t let others determine your life for you, but consider what people you trust have to say. Absorb all of the external information, sort it out, then choose your own path.

2. No matter what you do, you’re going to disappoint or be judged by someone.

People pleasers have a tough time because quite often, people want different things. If you live your life in constant surrender to others’ interests, you might be pushing aside your own desires. You can’t please everyone. Accept that judgment exists no matter what you choose, so go for it!

3. You are not alone in your hardships.

Whatever you suffer from, someone else can relate. There are support groups that exist for just about every hardship. And if you can’t find the right one, you can start one. Lean on your support system, in whatever form they come in.

4. People matter more than place, but place is pretty damn important, too. 

Today we have technology that allows us to stay close with those we love even if we are thousands of miles apart. Our relationships are one of the most important things we have as humans. For some people, their environment feels pretty important, too. Don’t forget what ultimately means more to you. But there are ways to have both!

5. The time to become smart with your money is right now.

Read a finance book. Talk with your financially intelligent friend or neighbor. Google “financial intelligence.” Don’t pile expenses and liabilities on top of yourself so that they are greater than your assets and income if you can help it.

6. Your perspective can overpower negative emotions.

Shift your focus by stepping into a different corner from which to view your life. Different angles can clarify your thoughts. Your thoughts have so much power over your emotions. If you can change your perspective to a positive, grateful one, your feelings will climb the happy scale.

7. You can break up with your problems. 

Cut that toxic shit out of your life! When something (a relationship, career, place, group, activity, etc.) isn’t serving you anymore, you don’t have to keep it in your life. Break up with it.

8. Taking ownership of my problems solves issues more than pointing fingers does.

It is effortless to blame someone or something else for my problems. Ultimately, if I take ownership by accepting responsibility and focusing on what is in my control, I am able to solve my issue so much faster and feel less hatred or hopelessness.

9. Be present by grounding yourself with your senses.

Stop and smell the flowers. Notice your senses (what you see, hear, taste, feel, and smell) to slow time down and enjoy the moment. Take breaks from constant stimulation. Limit your time on the screen. Be present and observe real life.

10. Everything is impermanent.

All feelings are temporary. Life circumstances are just chapters. Everything shifts and changes like the wind. You’re never truly trapped.

11. Be open-minded enough to know there is always more out there you do not know.

You’re not always right. Think bigger picture. There are always more perspectives than your own.

12. Take baby steps towards your dreams.

Think small if thinking big is so overwhelming that it prevents you from taking a first step. Focus on one thing or just a few things at a time so you can manage them and sustainably continue moving forward. Don’t burn yourself out by overwhelming yourself all at once.

13. Create gratitude lists. 

Don’t forget how lucky you are! Gratitude can come in the tiniest forms. Get into a habit of reciting small things you are grateful for throughout the day, and positivity and abundance will seep into your life.

14. The “grass is greener” attitude will prevent you from ever feeling content.

If you rarely stop to appreciate what you have or never reward yourself for your accomplishments, then how happy are you really? Are you constantly waiting for better? If so, you’re forming a bad habit. Your brain will never feel satisfied and will always be waiting for whatever comes next, even when you’ve accomplished something the younger you was waiting for. Your dissatisfied brain will be prepared to just move on to the next thing. Life truly is a journey, not a destination. The destination is death, by the way.

15. The comparison game can be toxic.

Having feelings of jealousy means you feel discontentment with your own situation. Comparing yourself to others is very easy to do, especially with quick access to the internet and social media. But remember that every single person, even an identical twin, is unique and incomparable. You are enough just the way you are, on your own path that is separate from everyone else’s. And remember that you are only seeing the outside image of others, not the inside.

16. We must protect the environment, our Earth. 

We have a lot of work to do for our planet. We must educate ourselves, learn the laws and policies that affect our environment, listen to scientists, and view data that teaches us about our forests, climate disasters, air quality, ecosystems, animals, waste, the recycling system, and more. We must vote for change. There are small things we can do as individuals, as well. We can mitigate or completely eliminate our use of single-use plastics. We can lower our waste by reusing. We can be conscious of the products we buy and the companies we buy from. We can plant trees and grow gardens. We can choose what we eat and eliminate food waste by composting and by eating everything we have before we buy or make more.

17. It is important to learn about different cultures, diversity, and the privileges and quality of life of groups other than your own.

Not only is it fascinating to learn about different lifestyles, it is educational and eye-opening. We should step out of our bubbles and observe so much more than our own familiar little world.

18. We should not spread hate toward others whose interests and opinions are different than our own.

We will never all agree. We all have our personal reasons for what we believe in. Hatred is a very unproductive and hurtful way to respond to different ideas.

19. Explore your creativity.

Use your hands and your imagination. Build, invent, write, and move your body in an expressive way. Let your mind think differently than it does on a normal day. 

20. Find stability and routine amidst the chaos by scheduling, organizing, and cleaning.

Schedules, both loose and strict, and discipline to follow them add structure to your life when everything feels out of control or overwhelming. A clean, organized environment also seems to clean and organize your mind.

21. Accepting your negative emotions will lessen them.

As long as we view our negative emotions as evil, unwelcome, and abnormal, we will suffer more harshly from them. Negative emotions are perfectly acceptable and expected. If we solely focus on getting rid of them without being a little bit okay with them, our hatred and fear of them will intensify the pain.

22. Deconstruct social constructs and reform your own view.

Social constructs exist only because certain people say they exist. These constructs aren’t proven with scientific evidence that they are healthy and correct for all. Conforming to “society’s standards” is unnecessary. Beauty standards, for instance, are projected towards a select few individuals who actually have the chemical and physical ability to live up to them. Many social constructs can be toxic, unnatural, and unrealistic. You don’t have to listen to what the media tells you. You can lead by your own example.

23. Failure is only what you define it as.

It is very hard to fail completely, depending on how you define failure. If you don’t fully succeed in the way you imagined, before you deem it a loss, focus on the lessons learned, your growth along the way, and the other doors that have opened as a result of one door closing.

24. Make your appreciation and love for others known.

Make it a point, make it something you work extra hard to do: Tell people how much you love and appreciate them! Use your words, do them favors, give them a hug, spend time with them, or send them gifts; just love them in the best way you know how. Take the love language test, by the way.

25. Love yourself, and that is enough.

You are the main character in your story. Do things that bring you joy, write down your feelings, be gentle with yourself, forgive yourself, spend time with yourself, smile at yourself in the mirror. In a way, it’s lonely to think that you and only you will ever be inside your body and mind. But from a different perspective, I think of the words sacred, protective, trustworthy, and incredible. For however long you are alive, you are with yourself the whole time. So, probably a good idea to extend the love inward. :)

I hope you enjoyed learning about what has worked for me so far. I bet further along down the road, I’ll look at some of those life lessons learned and think, “wow, so young and naive.” Or maybe not. Note that this list of personal growth is personalized. This list is my very own and might not sit well with everyone. Welp, I’m gonna go celebrate my birthday now. Goodbye!

Mental Health Blog Disclaimer

I am not a medical professional, therapist, or mental healthcare professional. The information provided on this website is for informational purposes only, comes from my own personal experiences, and may be read, interpreted, and practiced at your own risk. Do not rely on this information as a substitute to medical advice or treatment from a healthcare professional.